My PhD Journey

17 October 2015 – Yesterday was my 5th class for my PhD journey. Even 5th class a lot of thing I didn’t understand and still confuse. When I present my proposed proposal…there are questions that I can’t answer. Prof, Wan Fadzilah and my colleague help me a lot. They have given many suggestions to improved my proposal.I need to find and read through a lot of journal article…. Even now I have found a lot of journal….to read, understand and to rephrase the all the article is quite challenging to me. With the limited time (I only can focus at night…10pm-12.30am, that all depend to my body ability to stay up). Sometimes I also thinking…. It is the right decision? Just recall the journey how I decided to accept the offer from UMK to continue my journey in PhD program. Here is the chronology of event. 10 August 2015, I have submitted the hardcopy for my thesis in MBA Program. Alhamdulilah, after scarify a lot of things….Hari Raya 2015, sleepless, and etc. for the 2 ½ months. 12 August 2015 – received the email from Prof. Sazali mentioned that he reviews my thesis think that are a value then he wants to convert my thesis to the book. Alhamdulilah. But friendly speaking I’m not satisfied with my thesis. A lot of things need to be improved. Apa-apa pun I leave it to Prof Sazali as an expert. I Just follow and didn’t mind to help if he need my assistant. 19 August 2015 – I received a letter offer of admission to Doctorate of Philosophy (PhD) at Malaysian Graduate School of Entrepreneurship and Business (MGSEB), at UMK. With my conversation between me and Prof Sazali, he mentioned that second module for 1st batch PhD students will be held on 22 August 2015. Prof. Sazali asked me to attend the class but I refuse to attend. “So early prof”… and prof said … “ don’t wait for so long”… I said “Ok”. Every day and night I cannot focus on my work and other things…..kepala duk pikir2…..sambung atau tidak….confuse…confuse…sampai pening kepala. My husband give full support…”continue and don’t wait…just go to the class on 22 August 2015”. Aku still confuse…. Do I’m capable????????? Aku mohon pada Allah petunjuk…buat istikarah. Jumaat 21 August 2015 sleep early coz still sakit kepala pikir. And…..on 22 August 2015, wake up early.. hari terbuka untuk attend the class….bersiap….and go the class dengan harapan mahu melihat dulu how PhD look like. Bila sampai kat kelas, Prof Sazali pun terkejut aku datang….he welcome me… and introduce me to the class….he said he look potential on me…and orang yang ingin berjaya must start early…. According to the attendant list there are 17 students in PhD program. 6 students from the first batch. 5-6 students from DBA program (convert the courses to PhD), 2 new students (me and Suhaila), the others I’m not sure. During the class, there are 6 PhD student will present their proposal. During the first presenter present their framework… I found moderating variable in the frame works. Like my research during MBA program. Now I understand why Prof Sazali mentioned my framework during MBA like PhD program. As overall presentation, from my perspective of view yang tak expert nie, ada student yang dah ok then ada jugak student yang not well prepared and still not clear with their research scope. Afternoon class continue with the courses work THEORY IN MANAGEMENT from Prof Wan Fadzlilah. After the class I think I have decided that: a) Want to continue for PhD program. b) I think I can prepare proposal like others c) During MBA, we don’t have class details how to prepare the Literature Review, methodology, etc. But for PhD I hope every courses will help us. d) A lot of thing my research in MBA still not answerable so I want to explore it in PhD. e) Best plak belajar nie…..aku nie memang jenis minat belajar….hahaha…. Today when I writing this article…I’m already pass the 5th class. But I’m still blur…blur in theory in management. A lot of journal need to be read. However I will do….. never give up. Alang-alang menyeluk pekasam…biar sampai ke pangkal lengan….alang-alang belajar….biar lulus PhD.